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September 2009 Who Did You Include Today?
Welcome to this edition of the be the best you can be newsletter. I hope the things I’ve learnt this month can stir you up to make the most of the rest of this year and focus on what really matters. This month I want to talk about why it’s so important to include rather than exclude the people around us, especially when we feel like we’re not firing on all our cylinders.
Make an 'Early Inclusion'
You often hear sporting clubs say they’ve made a ‘late inclusion’ to their team for this week’s big game. Well, the big game is on for all of us every day. And every day is a day we can make ‘early’ inclusions to our teams, our families, our workplaces. We don’t have to wait until we are challenged or until something goes wrong, like sporting teams do, before we include someone on our team. It makes sense to include people rather than exclude them. But when we feel “down” or when we fail or when things don’t go right for us, often the last thing we feel like doing is letting people into our lives. But that’s the time when we absolutely have to let people in. Rather than exclude people from our lives, it’s the time when we have to include others. Let me give you an example: I was speaking in the country recently and there was a farmer, I’ll call him ‘Alan’, in his early 40s, the prime of his life, but he felt like a failure. His wife came up to me and said, ‘Pete, I really want you to talk to him, I’m really worried about him. He’s very upset, but he’s shutting everyone out.’ Alan’s father and grandfather had been farmers and they’d run the family farm successfully. But times are tough in the country, as we know, with the drought and the economic downturn. Things weren’t going well for Alan. But it wasn’t his fault! He was focussing on things he can’t control. He can’t make it rain, he can’t change the economic downturn. But he can change himself, he can include people, include his wife, say to her, ‘Hey, I need you at the moment. Can you be there for me?’
Focus on the opportunity that comes with changeAnd maybe what he’s experiencing right now is an opportunity. It’s a chance for him to say, ‘Right, I’ll go and spend more time with my kids, or I’ll go and coach the local junior footy team.’ He can say to himself, ‘I’ve got a wife who loves me – and I can focus on the things I can do, rather than what I can’t.’ Where can you include rather than exclude in your business, or your sporting team, or your family? Because when you make someone feel important and valued they feel included. They’re part of the team, they can share in your goals and what excites you. They’re in the game. What do you think?Okay Pete, you might say, how do I actually do this? Well, it’s blindingly simple. Remember to ask these four incredibly powerful words: What do you think? If people get the chance to tell you, they’re going to feel their contribution is valuable, that it matters. And you will learn so much! We all have times when it’s just not working for us. I know that when I started blackbelt in excellence, there were times when I’d work my guts out all day, sending out 20 proposals, but at the end of the day, what did I have to show for it? Nothing! My wife would ask me, ‘What did you do today?’ and the easy thing would have been to hide in my shell. But I included her and told her exactly how things were for me. And that made all the difference. She was on my team, she could be there for me, she could help me take the next steps to achieving my goals. And hopefully, I could encourage her to have a crack at achieving her goals too.
You're not smart enough to have all the answersI was engaged in discussion recently with a team leader who I’ll call ‘Janet’. Janet is terrific at creating work for and lumbering herself with work that could and should be done by fellow team members. She told me how she needed to induct a new team member and all the work it was going to take for her to do that. But I said, ‘Hang on Janet. What about engaging your team members to induct him? Use their experiences, get them to tell you what they think would make a great induction process.’ And she said, ‘Pete, that’s an amazing idea!’ but it really wasn’t – it was just the simple idea of asking people what do you think and giving them the chance to offer their abilities and gifts to her team. And besides, they had been through a rather ordinary induction process themselves and so had much to contribute to make the process a better one. Including others is about taking the risk to ask them to help out. But it’s a risk you must take. Recognise and acknowledgeAnd it’s about recognising people’s efforts. To give you another example, I recently travelled halfway around the world to attend my nephew’s wedding. When I arrived the first thing I received was a huge hug and the words, “Hey Pete, it is awesome that you are here.” Wow, how powerful is an arm around the shoulder? Please don’t forget the “one percenters”. Sometimes it’s our kids who do this so much more naturally than we do. On Father’s Day, my 24-year-old son Jamie, who is overseas, texted and called me, telling me how much he loved me, that he missed me and that the time we’d recently spent travelling overseas together was just so important. I felt included in the journey of his life – and I am sure that’s because I’ve spent a lot of time and effort over the years loving him and including him.
Ask better questionsWe’ve got to start asking ourselves better questions. And the one that keeps coming to me, the one I feel people need to ask is ‘How can I include people?’ It’s not a question we naturally ask. But it needs to be. If each of us wants to be the best we can be, we have to have the best people for us around us, supporting us, encouraging us, telling us that, yes, we can do it. We’re not on our own with this. Who can you include today? Who’s it going to be? Your partner, your kids, the person on your work team that you think, secretly, has nothing to offer? Maybe they do. Maybe the solution you’ve been looking for is right in front of you. Maybe it’s time to include that person rather than exclude them. Your storiesWhile we’re talking about this, I would love to include in future newsletters your stories about inclusion, about when you’ve asked that question and got an answer that has taken you in a new direction, that has brought you – and the person you’ve included – those great rewards that come from appreciating people and making them feel important.
Please take the time to have a look at the website and a new video I’ve just put up that gives you an overview of blackbelt in excellence. It’s short and snappy and includes:
It’ll take you less than three minutes to check out some of the things we offer. Feedback“I thought Fridays’ session was fantastic. It really made me stop and think that, if I put my mind to it, I can achieve almost anything I set out to. This applies to both my work and personal life. If we could cascade this positivism and motivation throughout the company, imagine what we could achieve”. Delegate - blackbelt in excellence workshop “What a fantastic motivating three days, I personally came away from Red Hill with the inspiration of knowing that I can make a difference, not only for myself but to motivate and encourage others. Peter I felt was a true inspiration in getting me to believe in myself enabling me to set a goal and know that I can achieve it not only by myself but with the help and support of my colleagues. How great that feels”. Conference Delegate from a three day blackbelt in excellence retreat Your feedback is never taken for granted and is always greatly appreciated. Thank you so much. Please feel free to email me at comments@blackbeltinexcellence.com.au Thanks for joining me again this month. Keep well. And keep going. As you know, part of the proceeds of every copy of my book "be the best you can be" go to the wonderful people at ACCYO (The Australian Council for Children and Youth Organisations) which is helping to make Australia a safer place for our children. www.accyo.org.au And if you'd like to book blackbelt in excellence for your next conference, workshop, seminar or success training, just click here. I'd be happy to talk to you about awe-inspiring ways I can lead you personally and your company forward into the future with confidence, energy and commitment.
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To your success. Be the best you can be. Best wishes, Peter Thurin 61 407 568 416 www.blackbeltinexcellence.com.au P.S. Don't forget to visit my new blog "be the best you can be" |
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